Articles On Shame
On our way towards healthy shame we are passing through different phases – like we do in every crisis. Grieving and pain are important milestones on that path. Healing shame means saying goodbye. It means losing familiar things. Because whatever is familiar is not necessarily good for us. Whenever we move on, we are ...
The healing of toxic shame is a process consisting of many small steps. Because shame can develop in many different areas the healing process is equally complex and multi layered. Some of these steps we can only take when accompanied by a supportive person like an experienced therapist. The reason for this is that ...
Want To Heal Your Shame? Change Your Perspective! Recently I attended a talk from an inspiring healer. She described what I've experienced for a long time: healing is a process. A path. The same can be said about healing shame. But why is perspective so significant when it comes to conquering shame? Why ...
NO! This article is going to be an unusually personal one. And probably long, too. The core insight? Healing is possible. Sometimes the most difficult setbacks catapult us the furthest forward. This is because they are so painful that they lead us right into our deepest core. Last week, I have gone through such ...
A main reason why shame remains mostly unconscious is the lack of communication about it. Here, shame demonstrates the typical characteristic of a taboo. However, language and awareness are intrinsically linked. Without language, we are often not able to develop awareness. Language actually serves us as a "mediator", as a mirror. That is why, ...
Needs play a central role in the context of shame. Non-fulfilled or seemingly unreachable needs can make us withdraw, and their ongoing nonfulfillment can create chronic (or toxic) shame. How difficult it can be to come back out of hiding is part of my own story. If we are affected by chronic shame, we ...
When it comes to shame, there are many things we can talk about. But one insight in particular is worth sharing, because it has turned out to be the most important one. The best and safest antidote to shame is connection. But what exactly do I mean by that? And how can we reach ...
What Is Shame And How Does It Work? Shame is probably our most painful and hidden emotion, but it has an important function. It activates when our personal sphere is breached, private things become unvoluntarily visible, when we feel judged or believe to have failed other people´s expectations. In its linguistic root, shame ...
Or: Why am I currently changing my perspective Some topics accompany us over a lifetime. They almost seem to "stick" to us. That's how I feel about shame. But what can I do to get rid of it? A recurring experience in my life was that I had questions (lots of questions!) and no ...
As I have mentioned already elsewhere: There is a powerful antidote to shame. And that is the feeling of connection. This makes particular sense if we remember what shame actually is. Shame is, first and foremost, a "normal" human emotion. It controls the intensity of exchange that we have experience with our environment. If ...
