You probably have several wounds that could be shame related. The higher your score, the more difficult experiences you’ve likely accumulated.
But fear not! While this can stem from deeper trauma, ongoing criticism and bullying, many people also go through smaller, less “dramatic” experiences (like deception, rejection or feeling misunderstood).
We often don’t consider these experiences “big enough”, but they can add up over time and corrode our sense of self.
Start paying attention to moments where you feel really uncomfortable, want to run or feel a strong urge to fight back. You might even experience moments of ‘paralysis’, or your mind going blank.
How often does that happen? In what kind of situation? Is there a pattern?
These situations are not restricted to a certain life area. They can show up in every social context, like job, school, finances, family, health, love or religion.
While early trauma can create deep trust issues, later you might have developed a negative body image, fear of failing or health related shame.
Just know: This is not a life sentence! And you are definitely not alone. Toxic shame is a widespread, collective phenomenon that’s just starting to be understood.
Understanding the mechanics is a powerful start. Always ask yourself: Does this person disempower or empower me? If they disempower you, run!
And then find people who truly support you. They’re not to be found everywhere, but they exist.
You’re awesome, and you deserve to be fully seen and appreciated for who you are.
If this has made you curious and you would like to find out more, check out my blog.